We wanted to follow up the article last month’s Totally Dublin, ‘How To Win Your Referendum’, with a simple reminder of who the referendum is for in a very immediate sense, people in long term same-sex relationships. We realise of course, the referendum is also (all going according to plan) there to enshrine marriage rights for everyone in perpetuity, for today’s young gay community and beyond, but the aim here was to put a concrete set of faces onto an abstract question about love and the law as an effective way of presenting why people should being saying Yes come May 22nd.
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How long have you been together and can you tell me a little of how the relationship began?
Przem: I was dancing the night away one Saturday night at POD, 11 years ago, when I spotted this handsome fella on the dance floor and that’s how it all started. We both still love dancing. We also started working for two different shops in the George’s Street Arcade the very same week so you could call it a destiny I suppose.
Les: I had spotted Przem in the Arcade on the week I started working there and then spotted him again in the Pod that weekend. I thought he was the cutest boy I’d seen and we went on our first date the following week.
Ireland was extremely conservative in the 1980s and 1990s and somewhat less so now. When do you feel that real strides for recognition of gay rights began to happen? Were there key, big moments, or is it a case of more slow and steady improvement?
Les: From my point of view it has been a very slow process. There definitely has been an immense improvement since I first came out but for me it’s been very gradual.
Do you still encounter homophobia, and how do you find it affects you? Is it something you can very easily rise above?
Przem: You would every now and then unfortunately. I’ve always been kind of unsurprised by the unpleasant name calling on the street, though as I’ve experienced it many times back in Poland where I come from. The violent acts of homophobia is what terrifies me in particular.
Les: Less and less nowadays I have to say. Yeah, I think I’ve probably become tough-skinned enough to rise above it over the years but it always affects you in some way.
Have there been any particularly difficult barriers to overcome – in relation to societal or familial pressures? Or has support been present throughout?
Les: For the most part I’ve been lucky enough to have amazing support. I’m not going to say coming out was a walk in the park but definitely a more positive than negative experience for me.
Przem: I was always extremely lucky for the support I received from my friends, my sister and my parents. However coming out in Poland was never going to be easy as it was such a taboo topic back in the ’90s. Sadly homophobia is an even bigger issue nowadays, partially the reason I could never even imagine moving back to my birth country. Anti-LGBT hate speech is publically used by some of the candidates in the upcoming Presidential election. That’s how bad it is.
If the referendum passes this May, how do you plan to celebrate?
Przem: Well for starter our annual Eurovision party extravaganza would most likely end up being our best and most vibrant one yet! In addition we shall begin wedding preparations pronto. New Year’s Eve 2013 is when we got engaged but decided to postpone any further plans on the matter hoping for the good news to arrive on 22nd May as we would absolutely love to celebrate our wedding with friends and family here in Dublin.
Words: Ian Lamont
Picture: Killian Broderick
