Vivien is German and Lochlann is Irish, they have been together for a year and a half.
What cultural differences do you think actually help your relationship to grow and stay healthy?
Lochlann: I think it is more about our cultural similarities than our cultural differences that keeps our relationship afloat. We met while travelling around North America, and it was our cultural similarities that connected us, especially in a heavily Americanised country like Canada. Our European frame of mind separated us from the Canadians and brought us closer together.
Vivien: I think one big advantage of being in a relationship with someone from another country is that you can speak about your culture and you can ask questions about the other person’s background in ways that you wouldn’t do with strangers. I can ask Loco questions about the Irish mind-set, history and language without the restraints of political correctness and shyness. It widens my horizons and helps me to better understand the country where I now live and how my view on things is influenced by where I grew up.
Are there any cultural traits or customs that you had to compromise on?
L: Not particularly but we have had a few disagreements when it comes to politics, but that could be personal choice rather than a cultural difference. I believe the Irish are a much more patriotic country while I get the feeling the Germans, though not unpatriotic, value their country in a different light.
Any moments when you thought the cultural differences were too much or too difficult to overcome?
L: No, I cannot say that has ever been a problem, nor can I imagine it will be.
V: No, never. Sometimes, especially in the beginning, the language barrier was a big point for me though. You’ll never be yourself, express your personality as easily as in your language. Sometimes I had the feeling people do not really know who I am when I speak English. It is more difficult to be self-confident, to make a point during an argument. However, it gets better over time, and I never feared that I wouldn’t overcome my language barrier. It is worse in public situations. In private, you always find a way to say what you want to say.
As a couple from different cultures, is your approach to your relationship any different from the relationship of two people from the same country?
L: I don’t see any huge differences between myself and Vivi culturally. I can imagine if we were from more extremely different backgrounds or religions, then I would imagine the differences could be vast. For us, it’s not the case. If anything I believe it expands our minds and allows us to learn from each other’s culture, collaborating the two, gaining the knowledge and traditions of both. This way, I might have a cold glass of Apfelwein instead of stout at the end of the day. It is the best of both worlds.
V: I am sure culture can matter a lot if your deepest, most important beliefs are contradicting those of your partner. In our case it is more about things as essential as food, drinks, stand-up comedians and swear-words though. Loco and I might have different views on certain things because of our country’s history, the books we read or the movies we watched, but there’s nothing we cannot talk about and learn.
