Sam and Paola have been together for two and half years, and married for the last year and half. Sam is Irish, and Paola is Colombian.
Tell us a bit about how it all started.
Paola: We met in a bar in Buenos Aires. It was one day before some friends and I were going to travel around South America. I remember I had a new camera and was taking pictures, and I suddenly saw Sam and I remember thinking he was cute. We were dancing and started talking. After the night had ended, he added me on Facebook and since I was traveling we did not speak for a month. I accidentally took his sweater with me that night, and when I came back, that was the excuse for me to see him again. However, I did not plan it, I swear!
Sam: Well I was only about two months in Buenos Aires at that stage, and I went to check out a famous DJ in this very posh club call Kika. It’s funny, people don’t expect you to meet your future wife in a club like Kika! At the end of the night she took my sweater by ‘accident’, and I just thought, yeah, that was a nice girl, hope to see her again. I remember asking my Argentinian roommates, and they just said ‘Oh the sweater, yeah, an old Colombian trick!’
What cultural differences do you think actually help your relationship to grow and stay healthy?
S: The fact that we speak Spanish every day is a great thing, and it helps, but I think it’s just who we are that makes us stronger. At the start of the relationship the differences are interesting, but eventually all that goes into the background. Are there any cultural traits or customs that you had to compromise on?
P: Yeah, well when I came, I hardly spoke any English, and it was difficult for me to understand the culture of visiting a pub, drinking and have a conversation with your friends all night. In Colombia, we go drink and dance, so having these interactions with friends was strange to me at the start. Now it’s easier, and we also go dancing and drinking!
S: I don’t think there is anything that strange or anything I felt I had to compromise about. When I met her family, I was a bit nervous, but nothing out of the ordinary. Her family put a lot of salt in their food? [laughs] I had to get use to that!
Any moments when you felt the cultural differences were too much or too difficult to overcome?
P: Well, if I thought about an issue, it was not with Sam but with the circumstances. If I wanted to be with him, how were we going to make it happen? How do we get the visa for me to visit Ireland? How do we stay together?
As a couple from different cultures, is your approach to your relationship any different from the relationship of two people from the same country?
Paola: Maybe when you are in these types of relationships you do learn to take decisions faster; choosing where to live, if we do want to stay together. When it’s a relationship with people living in the same country things can go slowe,r but with different nationalities, a decision to live together, or even marry, does happen faster than usual.
Sam: I think perhaps a relationship between two people from different cultures means that there is an open mindedness in both partners and a willingness to compromise. I mean the fact that you enter this relationship in the first place says a lot about you and how you might behave in a relationship, but I do not think it has any influence in the end.
