Even considering the almost universally hollow intellectual aspirations of films aimed directly at children and the mentally challenged, sniffing paint thinner for an hour and a half would be an altogether more rewarding experience than watching The Tooth Fairy. That, of course, is not to say that abusing paint thinner is in any way good or wholesome as a family activity, but that the noxious fumes of committee-written idiocy delivered by this Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson vehicle may be less harmful to the development of its young victims.
As Dwayne ‘The Tooth Fairy’ Johnson’s assistant (or something) Stephen Merchant may have brought some mild respite if only he weren’t busy grappling with his own integrity. Meanwhile, amid bizarrely bureaucratic magic, Billy Crystal delivers nothing in a redundant cameo, Julie Andrews gathers dust, some kid plays guitar and Ashley Judd proves an almost capable MILF. Buy your kids The Lion King on DVD.
Words: Cathal Wogan
