Pop Blog: Hit and Myth
February 8th, 2010
posted by Ciaran Gaynor
Mama Cass - subject of a fascinating pop “fact”.
Several songs on the new Hot Chip album were written by chimpanzees! Newton Faulkner grows parsnips in his hair! George Michael has a special door in the roof of his mansion which he has to be lifted in and out of by crane! Yes readers, those were some appalling fibs. But from time to time the world of rock and pop throws up stories which are stranger than anything you could make up. For example the recent revelation that Dion Dublin has invented a new musical instrument. A percussion instrument in fact. Yes, that’s Dion Dublin the ex-England international footballer who played up front for Coventry City in the late 90s. The instrument is called the Dube and it has its own website and everything. “I literally went to Jewson and got some off-cuts of wood - I bought a hammer and some nails and I made a cube,” says Dublin, “I made it myself and got a few cuts trying to play it. It’s just sort of snowballed from there.” Well I never. Is there a long tradition of footballers inventing musical instruments? Did Frank Worthington invent the keytar? Were syndrums dreamed up by Trevor Francis? No, they didn’t which is why Dion Dublin following in the footsteps of Les Paul is rather odd.
I’m telling you this now because one day this will be the answer to a tricky pop pub quiz question. You have been primed. You need to bone up on your musical trivia if you’re ever to fare well at a pub quiz, but you don’t necessarily need to untangle the truths from the falsehoods because most fascinating pop facts turn out to be boringly false without ever being corrected. Mama Cass didn’t die by choking on a sandwich, despite a vicious rumour to the contrary, no doubt given currency by the fact that Mama Cass was indeed rather portly. David Bowie didn’t invent Connect 4. And it’s not true that Stevie Wonder lost his sense of smell in a car accident. Except it is. But he got it back again or something. Oh I don’t know, leave me alone alright? I’ve got a pop blog to write.
Which is why it’s helpful to keep coming back to Snopes.com, the website that takes urban myths and subjects them to a “rigorous critical analysis” (or something). It has lots of different subsections including a page about music. Lots of the spurious musical rumours (i.e. lies) seem to involve notions about female pop stars being blokes - see the entries on Ciara and Lady Gaga. It’s as if people think a woman couldn’t possibly really be responsible for making great music, so non-existent genitals must be conjured to explain away the amazing power of brillo female pop. Didn’t the Spice Girls kick those barriers down years ago? You know when they had all those number ones? Snopes can’t verify the point, but it can put paid to the old story that Keith Richards likes to have his blood replaced every so often (aw, that’s the sort of story you half hope is true), and it can confirm that Michael Jackson owned the rights to the Beatles back catalogue – indeed it goes into exhaustively lengthy detail concerning the small print of the deal. But truth is boring so let’s make up some more lies: Florence Welch is terrified of water! Julian Casablancas’ next album will feature backing vocals by tennis “ace” Andy Murray! Mollie from The Saturdays was once a member of Riot Grrl band Huggy Bear!
(The pop blog will return next week after its author has a nice long lie down… - Ed.)
